January 6 Capitol Attack Band

Earliest known poster for Overture to the U.S. Capitol March by the January 6 Capitol Attack Band (Donald Trump conductor).

Donald Trump possesses secret Jedi document declassification powers.

And he has used his word-salad powers to insult Sir Elton John.

And fronted (Trump is a front man, not a conductor) the January 6 United States Capitol Attack Band.

What should we *not* expect from his fans?

In the News

I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really, we do it without, like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical – the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? The brain. More important than the mouth is the brain. The brain is much more important.