Diary (November 18, 2021)

Online diary of Karl Jones for November 18, 2021.

Diary

Inhibitions distinguish us from beasts.

My biological father abandoned my mother sometime during her pregnancy.

Mom made a legal contract with another man for a temporary marriage to span the time of my birth, to avoid the stigma of bastardry.

The legal father, who was gay, gained a hetero cover story.

Hard times.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was born in 1961. Mom was 19.

I don't know much about her motives. She did what she thought best. I can only imagine the pressure she faced.

When I was 4 she married my dad, the man who raised me, Arthur Jones. He was a good man, who accepted me as his own.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I suffered in my heart for a long time: who is my father? and who am I to him? Why am I half-orphan?

I came to understand, we are not unusual.

History is full of children who have no father, no mother, or both. This is the human condition.

One finds a way to love oneself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My sympathy to your child, and yourself. Hard times.

But take heart. We all find ways to keep going, to make our way in the world.

I turned out to be like my adoptive father, a good man, and not like my biological father.