When I Wake Up as Superman

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"When I Wake Up as Superman" is a short essay by Karl Jones.

Essay

This first thing I do when I wake up as Superman?

Think.

What really needs doing?

There is a terrible temptation, of course, stop whatever crime is going on right here, right now — Oh look, a traffic violation! Drag racing down Main Street in Smallville!

And I agree, the teenagers of Smallville needs a good Talking To by Superman, what with the drag racing, the making out in cars parked next to the Dairy Queen, the mobile phones and the sexting deep fakes of Lois Lane and all the rest of Smallville's small-town problems.

But meanwhile Lex Luthor is giving the Keynote address to the graduating class at MIT. And why not? Those graduates make up the next generation of Luthor's technically skilled henchmen.

Priorities, newly awakened Superman. Priorities.

First I have to void waste. I never saw this in Canon Superman, but me, I have to make super-water, first thing in the morning.

Then it's Up, Up and Away — to review the transcripts of the MIT graduating class, figure out which graduates are on Luthor's payroll, start mapping out their career vectors, make one of those photos-and-strings walls to figure out who's who, only all high-tech like in Minority Report.

That's about it for Day One as Superman. Wake up tomorrow for more of the same.


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